Identifying Trauma Bonds – Series, part 2
In our last discussion on trauma bonds, we explored their origins and how they form. Now, let’s take the next step—understanding how to identify trauma bonding, their signs and symptoms. Recognizing these patterns is essential for breaking free from unhealthy relationships and stepping into the freedom that God has designed for us. You can find out more HERE.
Identifying Trauma Bonds: Origins and Formation
- Identifying Trauma Bonds – Series, part 2
- Introduction
- Signs and Symptoms of Trauma Bonds
- Conclusion
- Watch the Summary Here on YouTube.
- Final Thoughts & Call to Action
- Related Articles
Introduction
Trauma bonds often disguise themselves as deep emotional connections, making it difficult to see the damage they cause. However, through self-awareness and biblical discernment, we can uncover the truth and begin the journey toward healing. As Proverbs 4:7 states, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”
This article will outline the signs and symptoms of trauma bonds, helping you or someone you know recognize these harmful patterns.
Signs and Symptoms of Trauma Bonds
1. Feeling Stuck in a Toxic Relationship
One of the most common signs of a trauma bond is the feeling of being unable to leave a relationship, even when it is harmful. You may recognize the emotional pain, yet find yourself constantly drawn back to the person who causes it. This is because the cycle of abuse creates a deep emotional dependency.
Biblical Perspective: Jesus reminds us in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Recognizing the truth about an unhealthy relationship is the first step toward freedom.
2. Justifying or Minimizing the Abuse
People in trauma bonds often make excuses for their abuser’s behavior or downplay the pain they are experiencing. They may believe that the abuser is “not that bad” or that their love can change them.
Biblical Perspective: Ephesians 5:11 tells us, “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” Denial keeps us in bondage, but truth brings clarity and healing.
3. A Cycle of Highs and Lows
Trauma bonds create a rollercoaster of emotions. There are periods of extreme affection and kindness, followed by emotional withdrawal, manipulation, or abuse. This unpredictability strengthens the bond, as victims cling to the “good times.”
Biblical Perspective: James 1:8 warns us, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Healthy relationships should bring stability, not confusion.
4. Fear of Abandonment or Loneliness
A person in a trauma bond may fear being alone so much that they tolerate mistreatment. This fear can stem from past experiences of rejection, neglect, or low self-worth.
Biblical Perspective: God reassures us in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” God’s love is constant and secure, unlike the instability of a trauma bond.
5. A Loss of Personal Identity
Over time, trauma bonds erode a person’s self-esteem and identity. The individual may shape their thoughts, decisions, and actions around pleasing their abuser, losing sight of their own needs and desires.
Biblical Perspective: Psalm 139:14 reminds us, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” God created us with purpose and worth—we are not meant to be defined by someone else’s treatment of us.
6. Emotional and Physical Symptoms
Trauma bonds can manifest physically and emotionally, leading to stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments such as fatigue, headaches, or digestive issues.
Biblical Perspective: Proverbs 17:22 states, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” God desires for us to walk in peace and wholeness, not in constant distress.
7. Doubting Your Own Discernment (result of gaslighting).
After a while, trauma bonding will limit a person’s level of trusting the truth of how toxic this relationship has become. This happens because they are not only stuck in the habit of struggling to judge situations accurately but also because emotional manipulation can deeply imprint on their psyche. They have conceded their independence and authority in making executive decisions to their abuser, which only serves to reinforce the power imbalance present in the relationship.
As a result, they shut out any voice of reason, creating a distorted reality where they only believe the lies of the deceiving abuser. This cycle perpetuates their feelings of confusion and helplessness, making it increasingly difficult for them to recognize the extent of the emotional harm they are experiencing. Consequently, they may find themselves questioning their own perceptions and feelings, leading to further isolation and dependency on their abuser for validation and support.
Conclusion
Identifying a trauma bond is the first step toward breaking free and seeking healing. God calls us to live in truth and wisdom, not deception and bondage. If you recognize these patterns in your life, know that you are not alone—healing is possible through Christ.
I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. Have you recognized these signs in your own relationships? How has God helped you grow in discernment? Your story could be the encouragement someone else needs to take their first step toward healing.
Let’s hold onto the promise of Isaiah 61:1, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”
May we all walk in the freedom that God has prepared for us.
Watch the Summary Here on YouTube.
Final Thoughts & Call to Action
Let us hold onto the truth found in Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Together, through faith and understanding, we can break free from trauma bonds and walk in the fullness of God’s love.
