Part 3: Silent Struggles — How Anxiety Affects the People We Love
part 3 of 7 part series on Anxious for Nothing: Finding Peace in God’s Design for Relationships.
By Susan Adeyemi, Christian Counsellor & Author
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
— Galatians 6:2 (NIV)
Anxiety is often called a “silent struggle” for a reason. It hides behind smiles, productivity, and even ministry. But even when we don’t voice it, anxiety speaks loudly in how we relate to the people around us.
In this part of our series “Anxious for Nothing: Finding Peace in God’s Design for Relationships,” we’re turning the lens outward to see how our inner anxiety impacts the lives of those we love most—our spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and church family.
This isn’t to shame or guilt us. It’s to bring light to what’s hidden and invite healing into our homes and relationships.
- Part 3: Silent Struggles — How Anxiety Affects the People We Love
The Weight of Unspoken Anxiety
You don’t have to say, “I’m anxious” for anxiety to affect those around you.
Anxiety often shows up in subtle, relational ways:
- Irritability or impatience when things don’t go as planned
- Withdrawal or shutdown during conflict
- Overprotectiveness in parenting or marriage
- Micromanaging or controlling behavior with loved ones
- Emotional distance from those who want to help
We may justify it as being “tired” or “just needing space,” but often, what we’re really doing is trying to protect ourselves from fear, uncertainty, or overwhelm.
And whether we realize it or not, that self-protection builds emotional walls that leave others confused, hurt, or walking on eggshells.
The Ripple Effect: How Others Are Affected
When anxiety isn’t acknowledged or addressed, it doesn’t just weigh us down—it ripples outward. Here’s how:
1. Spouses May Feel Shut Out
When we’re anxious, we might avoid vulnerability or become overly reactive. Spouses can feel emotionally disconnected or confused by sudden mood shifts.
Unspoken anxiety can create emotional distance.
“Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4–5
2. Children May Inherit Fear
Kids pick up on the emotional temperature of the home. When a parent is anxious, children may learn to fear the world or feel responsible for keeping peace.
Anxiety can unknowingly be passed down.
“Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” — Ephesians 6:4
3. Friends May Feel Neglected
Anxiety often makes us withdraw, cancel plans, or struggle to be present in conversation. Over time, friends may feel pushed away or unsure of how to help.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17
4. Community Can Be Impacted
Anxious leaders, ministry workers, or coworkers may unintentionally spread stress or negativity in group dynamics. When fear dominates, trust and clarity fade.
Why We Hide Our Anxiety
There are many reasons we keep our anxiety to ourselves:
- We fear being a burden.
- We’re ashamed of not being “strong enough.”
- We think it’s a spiritual failure to admit we’re struggling.
But the truth is, God never asked us to carry it all alone.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
And He also calls us into biblical community—to both carry and be carried.
“Two are better than one… If either of them falls, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–10
How to Break the Cycle and Heal Together
Healing from anxiety’s relational impact requires both honesty and humility. Here’s how we begin:
1. Start the Conversation
Talk openly with your spouse, friend, or family member. A simple, “I’ve been feeling anxious lately and I think it’s affecting how I show up,” can open doors for support and healing.
2. Invite God Into the Root
Go beyond the surface. Ask, “Lord, what am I really afraid of?” Bring your fears to Him and invite the Holy Spirit to renew your mind with truth.
3. Ask for Help
Reach out to a Christian counselor, coach, or mentor. Let others walk with you. Healing happens in connection, not isolation.
4. Practice Daily Grounding in Truth
Speak Scripture over your fears. Write down affirmations of God’s promises. Build a habit of remembering that you are not alone and not in control—God is.
Let’s Reflect
Anxiety may be a silent struggle, but its effects don’t have to stay hidden.
Ask yourself today:
- Who in my life may be affected by my anxiety?
- What conversations or healing steps have I been avoiding?
- What truth does God want to remind me of right now?
How has fear shaped your decisions, your relationships, or your walk with God? Use the checklist below to review your current experience with anxiety.
Join the Conversation
Has anxiety impacted your relationships in unexpected ways?
Have you seen healing in your family or friendships through vulnerability and faith?
Share your story in the comments. You never know who might be blessed by your honesty.
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📖 Come back next week for Part 3: “Anxiety and Attachment: Are We Loving or Clinging?”
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” — 1 John 3:18
Let’s love better by learning to recognize what’s going on inside of us—and by trusting God with both our hearts and our relationships.
You’re not alone in the struggle. And by God’s grace, you don’t have to stay stuck in it.
