Part 1: The Root Cause of Betrayal
By Susan Adeyemi, Counsellor, & Author
- The Seed of Betrayal: Where Does Broken Trust Begin?
- Betrayal Starts in the Heart
- Betrayal Grows Through Self-Centered Choices
- Betrayal is Fueled by the Enemy
- Recognizing the Warning Signs
- Conclusion: Turning Back to God
- GET YOUR GUIDE ON MANAGING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
- Related Articles
The Seed of Betrayal: Where Does Broken Trust Begin?
Trauma affects the soul deeply, but betrayal is one of the deepest wounds a person can experience. Whether it comes from a spouse, a close friend, a family member, or even a spiritual leader, betrayal shakes us at our core because it touches the very foundation of trust.
Before we can understand how to heal from betrayal, we need to ask: where does betrayal begin? What is the root cause behind broken trust?
Betrayal Starts in the Heart
Jesus said,
“For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts… deceit… pride, foolishness.” Mark 7:21–22
Betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. It often begins quietly, in the heart. Small seeds like selfishness, envy, or unresolved hurt can grow into decisions that harm others. When someone chooses their own desire above the trust of another, betrayal takes root.
Think of Judas Iscariot. His betrayal of Jesus began long before the kiss in the garden. The Gospel tells us he was already stealing from the money bag (John 12:6). The seed of betrayal was already planted and watered by greed.
Betrayal Grows Through Self-Centered Choices
At its core, betrayal happens when someone values their own gain, relief, or desire above loyalty, honesty, and love.
- A partner hides the truth to protect themselves.
- A friend gossips to feel accepted by others.
- A leader compromises integrity to gain influence.
Every betrayal has this thread in common: self over relationship.
But the Bible reminds us:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
When humility and love are replaced by pride and self-interest, trust begins to break.
Betrayal is Fueled by the Enemy
We also need to remember that betrayal isn’t just a human problem, it’s a spiritual one. The enemy has always worked through deception to destroy relationships. From the serpent’s betrayal of Eve in the garden, to Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, Satan seeks to divide and isolate us through broken trust.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” John 10:10
This means betrayal is not only a relational wound, it’s a battlefield for the soul.
Recognizing the Warning Signs
If betrayal begins as a seed, how do we guard against it, both in ourselves and in others? Here are a few heart-check questions:
- Am I harboring jealousy or resentment toward someone close to me?
- Do I sometimes place my own desires above honesty or loyalty?
- Am I allowing the enemy to whisper lies that lead me toward secrecy or compromise?
By bringing these things before God early, we uproot the seed before it grows.
Conclusion: Turning Back to God
Betrayal is painful, but its root cause is clear: it begins when we allow sin and selfishness to take the driver’s seat of our hearts. The good news is that God calls us to a different way, one built on love, humility, and faithfulness.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
As we begin this series, I invite you to reflect:
1) Have you ever noticed the “small seeds” that can grow into broken trust?
2) How do you guard your heart from pride, jealousy, or selfishness?
- Reflect on each part by writing in your journal.
- Share which part resonates most with you in the comments below.
- Download a copy of “Managing Negative Emotions Guide”
- Join my community to engage in prayers and accountability.
Book a free 30 minutes consultation with me (below) to unpack negative thinking patterns.
Use the GUIDE BELOW to evaluate your emotions. It also offers practical and biblical methods to manage negative emotions experienced in betrayal.
GET YOUR GUIDE ON MANAGING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Share your story in the comments and with others.
Your experience can bring light and encouragement to someone else navigating the same struggle. If this post helped you, share it with a friend who may be silently battling fear
