Narcissistic Abuse Series
By Susan Adeyemi, Counsellor, & Author
What does Narcissistic Abuse look like in Relationships?
One of the hardest truths to face is that you might be in an abusive relationship without realising it. Narcissistic abuse often disguises itself as love, making it difficult to identify. Start by asking yourself a simple question: Do I feel safe expressing my true self around this person?
Real love doesn’t require you to shrink or silence yourself to keep the peace.
Bethesda Ark
If you feel anxious before seeing them, find your achievements minimised, or notice your emotions constantly invalidated, you might be in a toxic dynamic. Love should bring peace, not fear. Many survivors of narcissistic abuse experience “trauma bonding”, a powerful emotional connection that forms through cycles of affection and rejection. It keeps you hoping for change while tolerating harm.
Recognising these patterns is not about blame; it’s about awareness. It’s acknowledging that what’s happening is not your fault. Real love doesn’t require you to shrink or silence yourself to keep the peace.
You deserve love that nurtures, not control that destroys.
Counsellor’s Corner
If you’re beginning to see your situation with new clarity, affirm your next step by commenting: I choose clarity.
As we continue this series, I invite you to reflect:
- Have you ever experienced prolonged isolation, health issues or emotional distress from a negative behaviour?
- Do you feel anxious around them?
- Do you feel your achievements are constantly minimised or your emotions are invalidated?
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may be experiencing or living through narcissistic abuse.
- Reflect on each part by writing in your journal.
- Feel free to share which part resonates most with you in the comments below.
- Download a copy of “Managing Negative Emotions Guide”
- Join my community to engage in prayers and accountability.
Let’s start a conversation in the comments about how we heal from these invisible wounds. You can also book a free 30 minutes consultation with me (below) to unpack negative thinking patterns.
Share your story in the comments and with others. Your experience can bring light and encouragement to someone else navigating the same struggle. If this post helped you, share it with a friend who may be silently battling fear
