Healing Your Marriage: From Pain to Purpose

Introduction

1. Introduction
2. Yahweh’s Original Intent for Marriage
3. God’s Prophetic Emblem For Marriage
4. How Can Marriage be a Vehicle for Pain and Suffering?
5. Use these Practical Tool to Assess your Relationship
6. 3 Practical Steps to Stop People Pleasing- Starting Today
7. Summary and Call to Action

Hi All, I have been instructed to write on this topic. I was in prayer time when this particular word came to my spirit ‘ Many people are going to hell because of their marriage’. I have a revelation that a certain percentage of marriages, even christian ones, are in dire need of intervention and help. The problem is, people are either not able to acknowledge the need for change, cannot accept help or are not even aware of the dysfunction present. So many marriages are not reflecting the original intention and purpose God had created them for. Jesus said in Matthew 19:8 that Moses permitted the Israelites to divorce, but it was not so in the beginning.

“Many people are going to hell because of their marriage“.

BETHESDA ARK

Sometimes, we don’t fully understand why we have to do something but it is not for me to worry about an instruction but rather carry it out. I’m not sure who is reading this article right now, know fully well that God intended for you to open this blog post and read it because He wants to speak to you directly. He wants to heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds. You matter to Him and you matter to the move and purpose of Gods kingdom on earth.

This article is divided up into 3 sections, first, I talk about God’s intent for marriage. Second, I discuss how your marriage could become a vehicle of immense suffering, sin and pain. Third, I would give you some practical tools and a step by step guide to help you walk out of a painful situation into the life God has designed for you. Everything I write in this blog post are based off my own painful expereince and I would not like to see anyone else walk through the pain and quagmire I had to. Again, I share some tips and lessons learnt in my self-reflection and personal study time with the Lord. READ MY STORY HERE

Yahweh’s Original Intent for Marriage

Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 5:6 both state that a man will leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Malachi 2:15 states that Yahweh made husband and wife to become one, having a remnant of the Spirit.

Why did God, Yahweh make the husbandd and wife to be one in spirit? He did this because He seeks Godly offspring.

1. Fruitfulness and Multiplication: God also blessed marriage and told them to be fruitful and multiply the earth and sudue the earth. We also know God’s promise that though one will chase a thousand, two will chase ten thousand. There is an anointing of exponential increase and breakthrough that Yahweh bestows on His design for marriage. He promises to bless the union because He is invested in it’s success and it was the first institution He commissioned after creation.

2. Combat loneliness: God knows what it’s like to have no one to talk to, so when He recognised that Adam was lonely and there was no suitable help meet for him, Yahweh had compassion. He made Adam fall into a deep sleep and created a helper suitable for Adam. Someone that could support Adam in carrying out the assignment commissioned to him. I believe this works both ways. We see in Ephesians 5 that Paul encourages husbands and wives to submit one to another as they submit in Christ.

So in essence, marriage was a shadow of the things to happen between Jesus Christ and the Chruch. It was a foretelling of salvation!

bethesda ark

3. Help and Support: Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labour. How? if one falls down, the other can help them up and vice versa. Ecclesiastes 4:9 put this out plain and simple. Marriage was created to help each other and make the work or kingdom assignment less of a burden but easier as you have someone to help out with the administrative, communication , financial, legal and even putting the home in order aspect.

God’s Prophetic Emblem For Marriage

Who would have thought that the union between Adam and Eve in the garden would carry so much weight in the spiritual realm thousands of years later? Did yahweh know all along that humans will need redemption from sin? So he put a precautionary measure in place to mitigate the destructive impact of sin on the human race and gave us something that would typify the redemption plan of mankind back to Himself? I like to think of this phenomenom deeply because my mind cannot fully comprehend this revelation.

Marriage between a man and woman is symbolic of the redemption story of mankind back to God.

BETHESDA ARK

Ephesians 5 puts in plain and simple. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her”. “Wives submit yourself to your own husbands”. The model of marriage was a prophecy of how Jesus, God in human flesh, would come on earth to die for the sin of man that we may be redeemed back to the original plan of Yahweh. So in essence, marriage was a shadow of the things to happen between Jesus Christ and the Church. It was a foretelling of salvation!

Yahweh created marriage to glorify him, honour him and for the purpose of producing Godly offspring. Marriage between a man and woman is symbolic of the redemption story of mankind back to God that we may be one with Him in spirit with the help of the Holy Spirit. Marriage is meant to reflect love, forgiveness, unconditional love, sacrifice, mercy, help, communication, ministry and redemption.

Unfortunately, Satan hates anything that glorifies Yahweh. So instead, he uses sin to distort God’s original plan for His message of redemption here on earth. He tries to taint this holy matrimony with sin, pain and suffering, It was not so from the beginning.

How Can Marriage be a Vehicle for Pain and Suffering?

How was it possible that a people started to suffer heavy loss and casualty in Ai, just after winning a major battle in Jericho? Joshua went before the Lord to inquire of the Lord. The Lord revealed to Joshua that there was sin in the camp (Joshua 7:10-12). When sin is present, everything that seemingly ought to happen right takes a drastic turn. Sin is the one weapon the enemy and his minions use to get God’s people down. And because of this sin, The Lord was no longer with His people.

Satan is not all powerful, all knowing or all mighty. These are the names of God. However, Satan’s tactic has never changed and remains the same. He uses lies and deception to warm his way in to the hearts of his targets. He promises scrupulous and unbelieveable things. Things unimaginable. You initially conceive the notion in your heart and the moment you give in to the first temptation, you have unknowingly given access to demons to enter. When they come in, they usually come in like a flood to wreck havoc (Isaiah 59:19 and Matthew 12:45). They do as much damage as quickly as possible while also creating fortresses int he mind to continue propagating pain, suffering and torment.

The only way Israel could regain spiritual authority and win the battles they were waging against the surrounding lands was to:

• Recognise
• Repent
• Renounce

Recognition of sin, Achan, whom had stolen some of the spoils of Jericho was discovered. Repentance of sin, Israel had to consecrate themselves as directed by the Lord. Renouncing sin, in order to purify the camp, Achan and his family were totally destroyed. The enemy knows that the only way he can get Yahweh to turn from His people is by tempting them to walk in sin. We read that immediately after Achan and his family were taken out of the camp and stoned, The Lord turned away from His fierce anger (Joshua 7:26).

So long as sin is allowed ad permitted in the camp, the Lord’s anger is against that camp and the enemy will also have free reign. Talk about a double whamy of destruction. We read later on in Joshua 8 that Israel succeeds in detroying the Amorites in Ai. Sin will only cause the Lord’s face to be against an individual that willingly practices and does not repent. Unfortunately, the sin of a souse can affec their partner and the offspring that comes from such unions. This causes immense suffering. In such case where a spouse is unrepentant and will not renounce their ways, it is better to seperate and seek God’s face for what to do, just as Joshua did.

In abusive marriages, one spouse may deny the other reassurance about their feelings. This denial makes them question their own reality.

bethesda ark

Pain and Suffering could manifest in various forms. These include but are not limited to:

• Financial Incapacitation– Debt due to frivolous spending, gambling habits, a bad credit score from a joint account. If not managed well, irresponsible financial habits can ruin credit scores, limit ability to work in certain organisations if one holds debt and can render one homeless.
• Sexual Disease: When one’s partner is sexually promiscuous and commits adultery, they could infect their spouse with all forms of deadly diseases. Especially if that person is dishonest about their lifestyle and their partner is not able to check their health on time.
• Physical Illness: The human body was not created to endure prolonged stressful events for a consistently long period of time. Overtime, our defence system would attack itself because of the level of chemical imbalance in the body. Most times, this leads to the development of auto immune diseases. Other illness include high blood pressure, migrane, excessive weight gain or loss, hair loss, skin discolouration and other stress related forms of illness.
• Mental Deterioration: In abusive marriages, one spouse may deny the other reassurance about their feelings. This denial makes them question their own reality. If a partner senses something is off, like emotional disconnection or infidelity, but is repeatedly lied to or dismissed, they may begin to doubt their own judgment. Over time, this erodes their confidence, leading to emotional distress and a loss of trust in their own discernment and mental well-being.

If care is not taken, the spouse might very well fall into sin and they both become sinful. God did not create us so that we spend eternity away from Him but He would also not tolerate sin. It is not worth spending eternity far away from God, It is wise to call a spade a spade and have the right conversations to salvage your relationship. If not salvageable, better to quietly and humbly seek the Lord’s face for where He is calling you to position yourself.

Use these Practical Tool to Assess your Relationship

If you relationship is an idol, it would hinder what God has in store from yo. An idol would always stand in the way of or direct communication with the Lord that is why he says you shall have no other God’s before me.

In a seperate blog post, I wrote about idols and the danger of idolising any relationship. most people that fall into the “People Pleaser’ category often struggle with knowing how to say know.

Use this checklist to gauge where your relationship stands today, than come back to use these 3 practical steps to stop people pleasing. If you tick 5 or more of these points, it’s worth having the right conversations to re-align your relationship and priorities.

3 Practical Steps to Stop People Pleasing- Starting Today

1. Pause Before Saying “Yes”

• Many people-pleasers say “yes” out of habit, even when they don’t want to. Before committing, pause and ask yourself: “Do I genuinely want to do this, or am I afraid of disappointing someone?”
• Example: Your coworker asks you to cover their shift (again). Instead of immediately saying yes, tell them, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” This gives you space to make a decision that aligns with your well-being.

2. Set Boundaries with Kindness

• You can say no without being rude. A simple and firm response helps you honor your needs while maintaining relationships.
• Example: A family member constantly calls you for emotional support but never asks how you’re doing. Instead of always making yourself available, say, “I care about you, but I can’t talk right now. Let’s catch up another time.”

3. Accept That Not Everyone Will Like You (And That’s Okay!)

• Seeking approval from everyone is exhausting and impossible. Focus on living authentically rather than meeting unrealistic expectations.
• Example: You used to always agree with friends to avoid conflict, but now you express your true opinions. Some may not like it, but your real friends will respect you for being honest.

Letting go of people-pleasing takes practice, but with each step, you’ll gain confidence and create healthier, more balanced relationships. 💛

Summary and Call to Action

Many marriages, even Christian ones, are struggling, often without the awareness or willingness to seek change. In prayer, the phrase “Many people are going to hell because of their marriage” came to my spirit, revealing the urgency of addressing dysfunctional relationships that stray from God’s original design.

This article is divided into three key sections:
1. God’s Intent for Marriage – Marriage was designed for unity, fruitfulness, and companionship, as seen in Genesis 2:24 and Malachi 2:15.
2. When Marriage Becomes a Source of Pain – Some relationships become vehicles of suffering, sin, and dysfunction, moving away from God’s purpose.
3. Practical Steps for Healing & Change – I share personal experiences, biblical insights, and practical guidance to help you walk into the life God designed for you.

Take Action Today:
If your marriage feels misaligned with God’s intent, seek His wisdom, reflect on the steps outlined, and take action toward healing.

📢 Share this message with others who may need encouragement. Let’s bring awareness to the importance of God-centered marriages.

💬 Join the conversation! Comment, share your thoughts, and connect on social media to help spread this important message. #GodlyMarriage #HealingThroughFaith