Part 6 of 10 part series: Isolation, Control, and the Silent Treatment.
By Susan Adeyemi, Counsellor, & Author
- Mind Games and Control: How Abusers Manipulate Your Thoughts and Emotions
- 1. Manipulation Distorts Reality
- 2. It Creates Dependency on the Abuser’s Version of Truth
- 3. God Calls Us to Renew Our Minds with Truth
- 4. A Moment of Reflection
- Conclusion: Returning to Truth
- Related Articles
In Part 5, we explored how prolonged silence—lasting days or even weeks—can deeply affect a person’s emotional and psychological wellbeing. We saw that this kind of withdrawal often creates anxiety, triggers fears of abandonment, and leads many to internalise blame in an attempt to restore connection. Rather than bringing peace, extended silence produces instability, leaving individuals feeling unseen, uncertain, and emotionally unsafe. Through Scripture, we were reminded that God’s presence is consistent and reassuring, not distant or manipulative.
But the impact of emotional abuse does not stop at silence—it often goes deeper, affecting how a person thinks and interprets reality.
As we move into Part 6: Mind Games and Control: How Abusers Manipulate Your Thoughts and Emotions, we begin to uncover the subtle yet powerful ways manipulation distorts perception. This part will explore how confusion is created, how truth is twisted, and how individuals can begin to question their own thoughts and experiences.
👉 When silence destabilises, manipulation often reshapes reality.
👉 The question now is: how does control move from behaviour into the mind?
In other articles, I talk about narcissistic abuse and how to heal from it. I refer to narcissistic abuse because when an individual becomes free of that experience, one of the emotions they would come in contact with as they begin healing is a sense of deep betrayal. They may have questions like, ‘was the relationship ever real’, ‘did the accused know all along that he/she was not invested long term in the relationship?’, ‘was I deceived all those years?’. I also share a brief snippet of my own personal story, and some difficult emotions I had to wrestle with on the onset of my healing journey – HERE.
Mind Games and Control: How Abusers Manipulate Your Thoughts and Emotions
Manipulation is often invisible at first. It doesn’t always come through shouting or aggression, but through subtle shifts in words, tone, and behaviour that slowly alter your perception.
So we must ask: how does manipulation gain access to the mind?
1. Manipulation Distorts Reality
You may be told that what you experienced didn’t happen, or that you are “overreacting.” Over time, this creates confusion and self-doubt.
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil…” – Isaiah 5:20
When truth is twisted, clarity is lost.
2. It Creates Dependency on the Abuser’s Version of Truth
As confusion increases, you may begin to rely on the other person to define what is real, what is right, and what is acceptable.
This is how control deepens, not just externally, but internally.
3. God Calls Us to Renew Our Minds with Truth
Scripture reminds us:
“Do not conform… but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2
Healing begins when truth replaces confusion.
4. A Moment of Reflection
Ask yourself:
- – Do you often feel confused after conversations?
- – Do you question your memory or perception?
- – Do you rely on someone else to validate your reality?
These are important indicators.
Conclusion: Returning to Truth
God’s truth restores clarity and peace. You are not called to live in confusion.
👉 What truths do you need to reclaim about yourself today?
👉 Where can you anchor your mind in God’s Word?
Next Steps
- Download a copy of “Managing Negative Emotions Guide”
- Join my community to engage in prayers and accountability.
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